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Searching for a job is a bit like searching for a spouse.

As a newlywed, I have been reflecting on how and why we select a mate. It took me about 20 years of dating to find the perfect man for me.

Many of the men I dated along the way were great guys, but finding the one who was the right match for was more challenging than finding someone with whom to share a few laughs.

The reason, I think, is pretty simple: Mr. Right-Now is easy to find because he only has to meet a few criteria, whereas Mr. Right has to match many requirements.

There were times where I was depressed, frustrated, and fed-up with the whole process. It occurred to me that searching for a job is a similar endeavor which can be nearly as emotional as searching for a spouse.

Understanding the similarities between dating and job hunting may help those of you who are going through the emotional, often frustrating process of searching for a new job to see that it’s not necessarily you who are lacking in the process.

Observation #1: Don’t Assume That Rejection Has Anything to Do With You.

The job search process can be very frustrating and can lead the job seeker to assume that not finding the “perfect job” is a reflection of his/her qualifications. I would submit, however, that having a tough time finding the right spouse doesn’t mean we aren’t loveable, just like finding the right job doesn’t reflect on whether or not we are “hireable”. There are lots of attractive job openings (and guys) out there, but they may not be as available as they seem.

Have you ever read online job descriptions and noticed that there are many that sound like they could be a great fit for you? Have you ever submitted your resume or application and had only a few responses from the potential employers? That can be a depressing situation. You submit your resume and you wait for the phone to ring. Kind of like dating. You meet a new guy or gal, give them your number, and expect them to call. If they don’t call you wonder “what is wrong with me?”

There is nothing wrong with you. There are many factors that influence a potential employer’s decision to respond to your employment application. To name a few: (a) maybe the job has been filled but the post wasn’t removed from the online board, (b) maybe the management team decided to layoff employees after the job was posted, (c) maybe the hiring manager went on vacation right after the job was posted and came back to numerous crises which are delaying the interview process, or (d) maybe the job was only posted as a matter of company policy even though an internal candidate had already been selected.

These are only a few of the real reasons that employers sometimes do not respond quickly or at all to candidates who apply for jobs. None of these reasons has a thing to do with your qualifications for a certain job. Certainly it is possible that your qualifications are not quite what a potential employer is looking for but the key is to not let rejections get you down. Rejections in job searching (and often in dating) may have nothing to do with you personally so keep your head up stay positive. You will find the right job.

Observation #2: Rejection May Be The Best Thing To Ever Happen To You.

If you are rejected for a job or by a potential date, it may be the best thing that ever happened to you. A friend of mine told me about “the perfect ma” that she met at a party. Gorgeous, wealthy, charming, and based on their conversations he seemed to share her interests and values. They went on a couple of fun dates and then he stopped calling.

She wondered what she had done wrong. She was depressed because she felt like the best thing that had ever happened to her had just slipped away. We later found out that he hadn’t called her again because he was engaged and that his fiance had returned to town after being away for a few weeks. Not hearing from him turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

The same can be true in the job search process. Several years ago I was approached by a large, prestigious financial services firm about a job. The job, the environment, the people, and the location seemed perfect. The compensation, benefits, and relocation package were terrific too.

I was scheduled to return for a final set of meetings which was to culminate in an offer. And then, nothing. My calls weren’t returned. The meeting didn’t happen. I wondered what I had done wrong. What happened? It was a depressing time because I had gotten my hopes up and had started to get excited about the new life I would have with this company.

About a month later I found out what had happened: the company that I thought I was going to work for was acquired by another company. The department in which I would have worked was disbanded and most of the employees were laid off. Whew! Not getting that job was the best thing that ever happened to me. Had the job worked out, I would have relocated halfway across the country and been unemployed within a month.

I assumed I was being rejected, but in reality the company was reorganizing. Not getting the job had nothing to do with my qualifications or worth. I have come to the conclusion that unless a potential employer tells you that you do not have the qualifications for the job, assume that it isn’t you and donâ’t let it get you down.

Hopefully, these observations will help you to remember that rejection isn’t always bad and that it may have nothing at all to do with you.

This article was written by Liz Handlin, CEO, Ultimate Resumes. Get more information and useful resources at